About the Author
A Message from the Author (A.K.A. Death)
Mortimer Graves is not just a man—he’s a walking obituary for fresh breath, a fearless truth-teller who dares to delve into humanity’s foulest secrets. As a lifelong connoisseur of oral catastrophe and a self-proclaimed Grim Reaper of Stink, Mortimer has dedicated his existence to understanding why human mouths insist on smelling like fermented despair.
With a background in forensic halitosis analysis, Mortimer has spent decades cataloging the putrid progress of oral decay throughout history. His relentless pursuit of the truth has taken him from ancient crypts to modern dental clinics, always seeking answers to the age-old question: Why do we smell like the walking dead?
His unique perspective and irreverent humor have earned him a cult following among those who appreciate honesty—even when it smells like burnt cabbage wrapped in despair. Unapologetically cynical and proudly unorthodox, Mortimer Graves continues to challenge society’s obsession with minty illusions while celebrating the inevitable stink that defines our species.
When he’s not writing scathing analyses of oral history or ranting about the myth of freshness, Mortimer can be found breathing deeply and unapologetically—reminding the world that no amount of peppermint can kill the truth of our rot.
This is his first book, but certainly not his last dive into humanity’s most pungent failures.